Tuesday, December 27, 2011

So what's next?

Well aside from New Year's, which is never a big deal, all we have going on this month is Ethan's birthday. Ok, I said 'this month' but what I meant was January. But it might as well be January already because December flew by in a blur. Anyway...back to my point. Ethan's birthday. I really am not sure how I want to handle this one. The kid doesn't need anything. He does not need anymore toys. He doesn't need any clothes either, because of all of the stuff that I have saved from Dylan. So I am very hesitant to hold a party and have people get him something just to get him something. He really does NOT need anything. It seems like a waste to get him anymore toys.
So what do I do? I don't mind having a party for him, that's not the point. But I just don't want people to give him clothes or toys that he doesn't need! If someone feels the need to give him something, I'd rather they just stick money in a card and be done with it. We save every bit of money anyone gives the kids. They each have an envelope and eventually will have a bank account that we save all of the money in. Ryan and I don't touch it. So how do you tell people to give money over a gift if they choose to give? Is that rude? Some may say no, others may say yes. Some may say its wrong not giving him something to open on his birthday. But really, why? He is young enough, that he doesn't care about those things now. Once he gets older and understands what money is about, he will be thankful to have that money that we saved up for him.
I don't know. Like I said, I am not really sure how to handle it all. Party or no party? Gifts of crap that he doesn't need or money? And it would be fine with me if people just sent a card.


  1. I think it depends on who you invite if they think it would be "rude." Personally, if a friend of mine asked for money I wouldn't think it was rude. You could write: Gifts not neccessary; monetary gifts preferred.

    You could also just state you want to just celebrate his life so gifts are not required.

  2. My kids like to celebrate their birthdays with their school friends, but I refuse to burden parents with having to get a gift so I have tried a few things.

    I have asked for used toys/clothes and donated instead of a gift.

    I have held parties that were not birthday parties but just kid fun so no gifts. Of course we did the cake and everything you would at a bday party just low-key.

    If it is family, ask for books or experiences vs. presents. A playdate or movie pass might be way more fun than a plastic toy that collects dust after 10 minutes of play.

    Hope that inspires some ideas. Good luck.

  3. It would definately be a family only party. We have a lot of family and I couldn't imagine having any more chaos than that, lol. I never thought about the experiences, that is a good idea!
    Thank you both for the advice!

  4. The two things I thought of were already mentioned: the first one was if you want to give a gift make it a donation gift to a charity (many children's hospitals have ongoing toy charities). The other is to invest in their future by giving to their savings fund, most understand how important that is. I would still do a party, nothing big maybe a cake and a poster or balloons or something. We tend to throw "cookout" parties with hamburgers or sandwich bites maybe. Having a January birthday is hard (my husband has one) because it's so close to Christmas. Good luck. Just make sure you have fun!

  5. Thank you Amanda. We usually serve food too. People stick around longer that way making it more of a get together. I hope that they would understand about saving money for him. I mean, its not like we go out and spend it on things for him. We save it. Thank you!


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