Wednesday, October 13, 2010

I don't like confrontation. I keep things inside more often than not to avoid confrontation. Sometimes though, I can't keep it inside. Sometimes things bother me a little too much to just keep it inside. If I bring it up, then that means that it is important to me. There are a few things that will cause resentment if I just keep it inside. With those few things, if I don't address it, keeping it to myself will eventually make the entire situation worse in the long run. I understand that there are times when my actions and decisions affect many many others. I am aware of that and I am sorry for that. Like I said though, somethings can't be tossed aside. Everyone has their things that they choose to take a stand on. I have mine.
I can handle things calmly. I do get fired up, trust me, but I can also keep myself calm as long as the other person can do the same. I'm sure that I can handle what I need to in a calm manner. Sadly, I have gotten used to walking on eggshells for some people. I hate doing it, and I really don't think I should have to. Life is hard, sometimes life sucks, and people don't always get along. But to attempt civil living, I can walk on eggshells. One of these days I may get tired of it, and throw my hands in the air in frustration and stop. But for now, I will keep going.
There has been many times through the years when I have wanted to turn away and never look back, in hopes of stopping all of the stress, putting an end to the tears, and sadness. If I were strong enough for that, I could have avoided so much pain. But I can't seem to do that. Guess I am not that strong of a person. At the same time, I can't just let some things go. Sorry.
I am thankful to be married to someone who stands beside me, and supports me when I need it the most. I am thankful that I am married to someone who I can talk to about anything, who I love spending time with, and hate being away from. We can laugh together and hurt together. We can also stand up to one another if we need to knowing that we are safe to disagree, and still love each other the same. I have a whole hearted marriage. Not all marriages are so good, therefore, I am thankful.
I am attempting to address what is bothering me. However it turns out, is on the other person. Not me. None of this should come as a suprise. Its a known issue. Im not blind siding anyone.

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