Wednesday, May 23, 2012

What If?

Have you ever gone back and wondered what would your life be like if one big life event had never happened? I bring this up today because tomorrow is my birthday. And every single year around my birthday, I receive a call from my dad. Our relationship is strained to say the least. Anyway, this phone call is a 'happy birthday' call along with yet another reminder that my parents are divorced. They have been divorced for so many years. Like I was in kindergarten or 1st grade or something. For some reason my dad likes to dredge up the past and give me the same speech year after year. It always includes how he wished it didn't happen and how it wasn't his idea, and blah blah blah. And every year, I have to contain my laughter. Yes, laughter.
You see, because of that divorce, I am happy. I have a good life. If that divorce hadn't happened would I have met Ryan? Most likely no. I wouldn't live here in this cozy house on acres and acres of gorgeous farm land. I wouldn't have Dylan and Ethan. Could I have met someone else and been just as happy? Maybe. But you know what? Maybe not...If that divorce hadn't happened, I could be alone and miserable. Ryan and I are so great together, I really cant imagine there being someone else out there better suited for me. And I love where I live. What if something would have taken me to a city life? I'm not that person. So every year around this time (and usually some random time at least once more through the year) I am reminded how lucky I am. I am reminded how happy and I am now and how if my parent's would have stayed together, I may not be this happy.
I think the divorce set in motion so many little things. Like my grandparents taking my brother and I on little trips here and there. If my parent's had stayed together, would they have been so involved in our lives as they are/were? Maybe not...And my mom's side of the family. They included my brother and I on their family vacations to Myrtle Beach. Would we have had that chance to be so close to them and be with them each year on these vacations? Maybe not...I have so many wonderful memories from the trips with the different parts of my family. They each offered us something different on the trips. Now, because they all offered us a chance to travel and see things, I love to travel. And I have been able to share that with Ryan and now the kids! We now want to travel and do things. What if my parents had stayed together. I may not have gotten the chance to experience these things.
And I think I have an understanding and appreciation for certain things because of the divorce. When he starts on his speech about how different things could be, it really does make me count my blessings. I wouldn't want things to be different. I am right where I am supposed to be. And that divorce...well, that started me down the road to my happy life. I have a ton of wonderful childhood memories. And now I have an awesome family. It makes me sad to think that the things I have seen, done, heard and been apart of (good and bad) and where I am now, may have never have happened.


  1. Wow this is one of the rare occasions where I have come across someone who chooses to be so optimistic when have all the right to be pessimistic.. Good on you!Hope only the best for you- Stranger

  2. Thank you! And hey...dont be a stanger much longer! Stop by again!


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